Dreams for my future

It's funny. I am always so full of opinions, yet when it comes to the blog I can never seem to put down what I want to write. I think in part there is so much demanded of me in my job, when I get home at night all I want to do is watch TV. And with only CBC, and CBC only covering the Olympics, I seem to all of a sudden have a lot of time on my hand.

I've been thinking a lot lately about dreams. What dreams are worth pursuing? What dreams are worth giving everything up for, and abandoning life as you know it, to realize those dreams to life?
I wonder sometimes if the dreams I have are ones that are worth it. I lose ambition quickly; it is a part of myself I have always hated, and a part I cannot seem to change. I was the same growing up, am the same today and imagine I will always be. And it's frustrating to be that person, the one that doesn't race the race all the way to the end.
I remember back in highschool. Grade 12. I was on the track and field team. Some big meet was on, I do not remember which one but there were other schools there, younger students than me were racing in the same races and it was one of the first times I remember measuring myself against those younger than me and simply assuming that I would do better because of my age. A girl from my church was raising in the 3000 metre race with me.
I had been training for two years in track and field. I had started to improve my overall running skill, not necessarily for competition. But I had a strict coach (who was also my band teacher) and I kept running faster and faster.

The race began, and I was off. I know I was close to the front of the pack early on, and keeping a good pace. The girl from my church was on an outer ring, so she was behind me. But I felt like the race was going well for me.
Then people started passing me. And I couldn't seem to go faster. It was only one race, I could rest all I wanted after, but instead of pushing forward, I began to slow down. Many of the racers had passed me/ there was no hope of catching up / I had done all I could do. I finished the race poorly. I don't like being that kind of person. It's not the person I want to be, and I'm sure it's not the person God wants me to be. But if I have dreams, I need to be the person who turns them into goals, into steps along the path and eventually into realized actions.