Dinner party

Aw heck, I've gone and left the blog to rot again. Why do I bother with it at all if it's going to lose momentum so quickly?!

Oh well.

Just saw an interesting post on another blog and thought I'd steal the idea.

It's a list of who I would invite to a dinner party if I could invite anyone. So I think that should be people who would keep the conversation going, something I always feel like I'm doing when we have company over.
Ugh. I hate trying to come up with a topic people will find fascinating. Especially since my life basically revolves around cleaning dirty bums, dirty bathrooms, and dirtying the kitchen making meals that will inevitably lead to more dirty bums and bathrooms. Ugh.

1. Preston Manning. (I know, I am such a dork.)
2. George Stombolopolous

3. Rick Mercer
4. Rainn Wilson
5. Jen from CakeWrecks / Epbot
6. Tracey Hogg. Actually, she's dead. But if she wasn't I'd invite her so I could get tips on what to do now that Isaac is a crazy kid
7. Peter Jackson
8. Mark Driscoll
9. Jack Johnson. Though less because I want to talk to him and more because maybe he'd bring his guitar and play some light dinner music while we eat : )
10. ...?
I should think of another girl to invite. This is horribly imbalanced.

And actually, this dinner party probably wouldn't go very well. There's not a lot of overlap between interests. Well, the first three people would talk politics. Peter Jackson and Rainn Wilson could discuss film. Jen would totally love to talk to Peter Jackson, and he'd probably find her fascinating too. Tracy Hogg really doesn't fit into this party, I should just remove her. Especially since, you know, she's dead.

Mark Driscoll is awesome and would probably end up having a deep discussion with the dudes and hopefully get them to rethink their lives. How cool would it be if Rainn Wilson or Rick Mercer became Christians? Oh yeah, Mark and Preston could have lots to talk about too.

Maybe it would be a good dinner party after all. Now I just need to fill up spots #6 and #10.

6. Why didn't I think of this one earlier? Definitely have to invite Johnny Depp. I'm not much of a celebrity fan, but Johhny's the exception. I think he's a great actor and is probably a stand-up guy too. Would be fun to enjoy some appies before dinner with him and chat about life.
10. Obviously my hubby and my baby. Cop-out? Nah, no dinner party would be as much fun without them : )

Isaac's first birthday!

Today my baby turned one year old! It's hard to believe my tiny little scrunchy monkey is now a busy, noisy, crawling one year old.

Today was a good day. We are having a crazy big party on Saturday, so today was lovely in its low-key, relaxed type way. Didn't make a big deal out of anything, just relaxed and enjoyed the day together. Isaac gave us a bit of a gift this morning by just laying in bed cuddling after he had his bottle. He never cuddles and is always on the move, so that was a nice treat. If Justin didn't have to head off to work, Isaac might have even fallen asleep again!

We played for a bit, then I made Isaac blueberry pancakes for breakfast - I think that's his favourite. There was a little bit of orange juice in the fridge so he got to have that too. He's only had a bit of orange juice before but he sure likes it!

After his morning nap we played again, then went to Renfrew Park for a bit to go on the swings and the slide. The sun was out but it sure was cold. Isaac got a bit wind-burnt and we were only out for maybe half an hour to 45 minutes.

We had grilled cheese for lunch - definitely one of his favourites - then played a bit more before his afternoon nap. Unfortunately his nap wasn't long enough and he was clingy in the later afternoon. But it just meant dinner wasn't quite ready when Justin got home.

We had lasagna (frozen leftovers from my massive lasagna I made last month), and I pan fried butternut squash - a definite veggie fave for our boy!

After dinner we got ready for Isaac's smash cake. Oh boy, what a production that was! Good thing it was just us, the kitchen was filled with the vinyl sheet, and I was basically in the way of Justin shooting photos because the space is so small. But it was definitely worth it! Isaac had so much fun, ate some cake, got thoroughly messy and now we will have some fun first birthday pictures to treasure.

He got dropped right into a bath, then got to open his presents after. We gave him a book that will be better when he's older and doesn't rip pages, a dish set from Ikea with a suction-cup bowl and a sippy cup that he picked up right away and tried drinking out of! And we gave him a jungle puzzle. I love the Melissa and Doug brand stuff, they are all very cool designs and I love that it's wood too. Isaac had fun playing with the three puzzle pieces and I think that will be a good toy.

We ended the day as we always do, reading a couple stories, praying over him then singing a couple songs. All in all, it was a day mostly like any other - except the smash cake and presents! - and it was a good day. Happy 1st birthday Isaac!

Stocking stuffer ideas

It's always a toss-up with stockings. I love getting stockings, but it's sometimes hard shopping for them. And Justin gets discouraged trying to figure out what to buy me that won't tip our cheapo-Christmas into a spend-a-thon.

But when I walk around the malls, I could buy about five stockings worth for myself. Isn't that awful? Here's some of the things I might buy if I was doing my own stocking:




scarves, pashminas

gloves and toques

hats

pjs

cute socks

slippers



earrings

necklaces

lip gloss

Body Shop stuff like body butter, fragrance oils, tea tree skin products

gum

chocolate

gift cards



yummy smelling candles or Scentsy diffuser and variety of oil cubes

fun kitchen stuff: cool straws, cookie cutters, cake decorating stuff, new spices / seasonings, special flavoured oils, cupcake liners, wooden spoons

specialty teas or hot chocolates

small filled picture frame

crafty stuff: cute ribbon / fabric for a sewing project plus a pattern, craft supplies to do with Isaac when he's older

pretty home decor stuff: mantle knick knacks, vinyl wall art, outdoor decor

nice pens

journal

dish cloths / tea towels

fridge magnets

stuff for my boy: leggings / arm warmers, onesies, sleepers, bath toys, harmonica, tambourine, other fun toys or games

I could go on and on. But I won't : )

I am so excited to fill Isaac's stocking this year, and have some ideas to get me started. Before I know it, Christmas will be here!!

Oh Christmas!

I am getting so excited for Christmas this year. Usually I enjoy the holidays, but it's not really something I start thinking about until at least the third or fourth week of November. I'm one of those people that roll their eyes when the Christmas stuff starts showing up.

"It's too early!" I always exclaim. No matter when the green and red paraphernalia appears.

Last year, I would have preferred if Christmas just skipped right past us. I was SO tired, SO utterly and completely exhausted, the thought of doing anything other than eating something and going back to bed when my very little one was sleeping left me overwhelmed. Just the thought of decorating, baking, trimming the tree etc. was beyond me.


We did cut down a tree. Brought Isaac out in his stroller to one of those u-cut places in Lynn Valley. By the time we got there, Isaac was hungry - AGAIN - and tired. But we trudged around the lot, looking for a tree. It was fun and I'm glad we did it. But then that poor tree sat forlorn in our living room, looking bare and dying more every day. By a few days before Christmas, all that had happened was a bunch of needles fell on the floor. Finally Justin decorated it one evening. Poor guy, pretty much did it all himself. I sat on the couch in my pjs and watched.




Christmas day was nice. Isaac slept at the right times so that I could open presents with my family and eat Christmas dinner. He was taking approximately an hour to nurse still, and he nursed quite frequently. So the fact I was able to partake of some Christmas activity was a big deal.

But then Boxing Day, he did – I am not kidding – a 16 hour nursing marathon. He was obviously going through a growth spurt, so I literally spent the day on the couch. Ugh.

But this year? Oh yeah, this year is going to be AWESOME! My little one is not quite so little anymore. He crawls and rolls and sits up and plays with anything and everything put in front of him. I can't wait to see him playing with his toys and, let's be honest here, the boxes and wrapping paper too. I can't wait to let him try some Christmas goodies, to sip a bit of egg nog (that's OK, right?) and to hopefully take him out in the snow. Squee!

When the silver balls and red bows started popping up in Superstore - right next to the bloody chainsaws and scary skeletons - I couldn't wait to start browsing. I twinkle toed up and down the half an aisle, picking up this and that, dreaming of decorating and Christmas pictures and stuffing stockings.

Yup. This year, I've been smitten with Christmas spirit. I cannot wait. Hurry up Christmas, get here already!

These pictures are basically the only pictures I took on Christmas day. I didn't even take any of our tree at home, though I think Justin did. And we didn't even get a family picture. So much for starting traditions with our boy! Oh well, traditions can start a year later, right?

11 months

My baby,

You're almost not even my baby anymore. You're almost one year old. You're almost the age where we will start tracking the time less by the months, more by the 'year' and 'half year' markers. You're almost at the age where you will do much more boy stuff, much less baby stuff. You're almost at the age where you move inexorably towards independence and further away from needing me. Gradual, slow, small steps, but each one a step towards standing on your own two feet - first literally and then as the years pass - figuratively.

But for now, you are still mine. You're my baby and I will hang onto you for as long as I can, keeping you safe and cuddled and mine until my job has been done well enough that I become incidental in your life.






You are learning so quickly now, each day you are discovering more and figuring out how your little world works. Just this week, you started dropping objects into containers. It's a big deal, since up until now it's been take out / dump out things. We have a shape sorter ball that's broken, and you put the shapes into the empty, upturned half a ball now. Then you dump it out, grab the shape and drop it in again. You also spent a good deal of time yesterday dropping a ring into the container and taking it out again. So precious.

You caught your first cold this week. Mommy got sick on Tuesday, Daddy caught it Wednesday, and we managed to keep the germs from you until Friday afternoon, when your nose started running. You're a real trooper with your cold so far, still playing even though you're not feeling too great. Yesterday afternoon you had a small fever, but by the evening (after your second two hour nap of the day) it had dropped.

Hmmm, what else? Anything significant happen in the last month? Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you're CRAWLING!!!! We are SO proud of you, little one, as you pull yourself along with your hands and push with your sweet toes. Your bum lifts up a bit, but you don't have the classic "crawl" happening yet. I know I mentioned this in the last post, but it's worth expanding on. Because people, this is a BIG DEAL!!!



At first you would get so frustrated just moving a foot or two forward. Now, you move across the living room quickly, you go out into the hallway and turn around, figuring out where you want to go next. If Mommy is working in the kitchen, you "fwop fwop" (the term I've dubbed for the sound you make) your way towards me. You let me know you're on your way not just by the sound of your hands fwopping, but also giving me a talking to about the fact that I am not in the same room as you anymore and you are not impressed!

In the last month you've cut three top teeth: the top front left Sept. 20, top right Sept. 30 and Oct. 16 (OK, one day past your 11 month) you cut your third. Now you've got five - wow!

You still say lots of 'mamama' sounds, and your favourite sound is 'ba'. You make that lots, especially when you're happy. But if we ask, "where's Daddy" or "where's Mommy" you look right to the correct parent. Good job!

Anyway, I could go on and on. But seriously, I think pretty much every moment with you is worth recording and everything you do is adorable. So that would be a lot to write about. Ooh, one last thing. Yesterday morning you tried blueberry pancakes for the first time, and loved them. I think we've found your new favourite food. You inhaled those flapjacks like they were made of candy. Which as far as you know, they are.

Thanksgiving

Thankful today for so many things. But most of all, thankful that the Lord blessed us with such a beautiful baby 11 months ago. He is my boy, and I am his momma, and that is a blessing beyond understanding. There is nothing I did or can do to deserve this perfect child, this baby with his body and mind intact, who is growing, learning, developing, who has no genetic diseases, sicknesses, who can see and hear and taste and touch and smell, who understands and responds. I cannot praise the Lord enough for this child of mine.


And in related news, Isaac is a crawler now! Hurray!! Within days of him "creeping" a bit across the floor, he was learning to pull with his arms and push with his toes, and is a boy on the move now. He gets his bum a little bit in the air, and it's still a lot of hard work. But he can motor from one end of the living room to the other, and come out into the hallway when I'm in the kitchen. It's cute and pathetic at the same time, because he's crawling and crying since it's still hard work for him. I feel like he's thinking, "Mommy, how come you don't want to be with me as much as I want to be with you?!" He's working so hard to get to me, but then it's so rewarding because I meet him in the hallway and scoop him up in my arms and get the best cuddles!! I love this kid.

Vancouer expidition

I'm so adventurous.

Yesterday, instead of going to my one single weekly event - baby storytime at the library - I drove downtown to a free breakfast put on by Justin's work to raise money for the foodbank.

So he was working there all morning and had asked if we might come down. After I told him I probably wouldn't, I decided during Isaac's morning nap that it would be fun to see Justin during the day, and it gave me an excuse to get out of our little neighbourhood bubble I've built.

Google maps said it was a 15 minute drive from home to the art gallery. But honestly, you would've thought I was planning a cross-country trip. As soon as Isaac was in bed, I checked and rechecked the diaper bag. I made sure my camera battery and cellphone were charged. I packed lunch for Isaac and snacks.

But that's not the worst of it. Oh no. I actually went on Google maps satellite, and studied the downtown corridor. I scanned the blocks around the art gallery looking for adequate parking. We have a roofbox on top of our Xterra (I call it our Xbox. Clever, I know). So parking garages terrify me because I have no idea how high we are and I did hit the roof of a covered parking lot last year at Metrotown. Don't need a repeat of that, what with all the backing up, moving forward, backing up again, honking, many staring faces watching me inch out of the one-way lot. Anyhoo...

I planned my route out turn by turn. Never mind that I've been downtown before, and that I know how to at least get to the 'entrance' of downtown via the stadium. I wrote out EVERY TURN. And then I studied the route on Google maps in close-up, to see the streets just before my turns. And I wrote those down too. Then I made sure that the parking lot I'd picked had an entrance with easy access on the road on the route I picked. Zoomed in as close as I could on the satellite to even see if there were lots of stalls and if I should plan an alternate parking lot.

Isaac wakes up, I shove a bottle down his throat as quick as possible, even putting him on the ground so I can get his shoes and jacket on (yes, while he's still drinking his bottle), and dash out the door. Losing my cellphone in the process. I won't kill you with suspense, the cell later turns out to be in a drawer.

I get to the downtown corridor and you would think I had never driven before. My granny driving downtown is painful, but I always think pedestrians downtown are all show-it-offs, like 'this is my street, and I'll cross whenever the he** I want to'. I always imagine a pedestrian leaping out from behind something and me hitting them and stuff.

Lots of route planning, packing, prepping. And it took me less than 15 minutes to get there. Paid for parking, got Isaac strapped in and we were off for a lovely morning with Nature's Path people, yummy food and great atmosphere. But first, I put away my driving directions and pulled out my walking directions to get the whole three blocks to the gallery. Small town hick? Yup.

Justin was definitely glad we came down. He was taking pictures for Nature's Path, so he had lots of time to hang out with us, shoot some photos, and enjoy a bit of quality time with Isaac before he took the skytrain back to his office and we drove home.

Victory

So Isaac has this newish habit now of rolling around on the change table. He flips onto his tummy, reaches for the edge above his head and pulls himself forward to look over the edge. It's super cute and I usually let him gnaw on the table edge (mmm, tasty) before flipping him over and changing him. Today I discovered that if you flip a baby over too soon and then start to open his diaper, he may roll over again faster than a speeding bullet, taking his poopy bum on a journey of messiness.

Gross.

Poop all over the diaper, change table, legs, boy bits and pieces. Luckily not on Mommy's hands. Heh heh, I'd still call this scene a win.

Hmmm, I don't seem to have any photos of Isaac on the change table. That makes sense, since poopy hands are always very real threat. You'll have to settle for a picture of Isaac looking ginormous against the beautiful blue sky outside yesterday.























Ooh, here's one of him at the start of September when we were packing up our stuff in Chilliwack, wearing just a diaper. That's sort of relevant to the post : )

Catching up and all that

Well, Jen started blogging again. Not only did she make me laugh (as always), she also made me feel slightly guilty about not posting. After all, if a mom of two kids can blog, then surely a mom of one small, not even mobile child, can blog too.

Harumph.

Besides, I wanted to blog to remember the details of these times with my boy. Already they are going by too quickly, and before I know it I'll be sending him off to Kindergarten. Then I will cry and sit with a very large cup of coffee (with a hint of Baileys perhaps), and want to read EVERY SINGLE BLOG POST about my little baby boy.

So that means I should actually write some blog posts about him.

Let's see...


Isaac is 10 months and 11 days old now. He is still not crawling. But he leans wayyyyy forward to reach for stuff. If there's nothing to reach for, he finds something invisible, or a very small piece of lint / garbage / dirt and reaches for that. But yeah, hasn't figured out that he has strong enough limbs to propel him forward yet. I've got my camera at the ready, as I'm sure it will be any day now. Never mind the fact I've been saying that for the last month.

Isaac is loud. I can't even describe his loudness, except in comparison to other kids. We started going to a baby storytime at the library by my aunt's house (yeah, more on that later). We've been the first two sessions so far. One time had 13 kids, next had 15, ranging from newborn to two years old. Isaac was by far the loudest of ALL the kids there! He's got a voice and he likes to use it. I keep telling everyone he takes after the Keitch side. Ha ha ha.

He still likes rattles, loves rolling balls, enjoys bath time and loves to be outside. And any time he hears a plane he looks intently at the sky until he spots it. Then he follows the plane until it's out of sight. When we pick up Daddy from his work sometimes, there are huge planes that fly right overhead (Justin works right near the airport in Richmond). Isaac is simultaneously scared and excited when they fly really low.

Daddy is best at making Isaac laugh. They pretty much just look at each other and Isaac starts laughing, just knowing that Justin will do something soon to entertain him. I can make Isaac laugh by throwing him up in the air, swinging him upside down, sometimes making silly sounds, and hiding around his high chair and peek-a-booing. I can make him smile by singing 'bananaphone', playing peek-a-boo, playing ball with him, letting him tip over his toy bin then setting it upright over and over. He has a toy with little pop up animals and he likes it when I pop them up so he can close them again.

Isaac eats pretty much everything we eat now, and in large quantities. This morning for breakfast, he had an entire peach (minus the skin), a whole piece of brown toast, an entire scrambled egg (and I'm not egg-aggerating here, heh heh heh), about a quarter cup of apple sauce, handful of cheerios, and about a third cup of blueberries. That's pretty typical for breakfast, though he usually has a whole banana too but we were out today.

He still has two naps a day, ranging anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half depending on the day and what we're up to. Our bedtime routine of three books (one crunchy / noisy one, one normal, and one small one that if he wants he can take to bed to gnaw on) has stayed the same. But now, I give Isaac a couple options for books. I hold two in front of him, and he hits the one he wants. It's so cute to see him asserting himself, and he really studies the two book covers before deciding usually unless it's one of his favourites. 'Hello', from my Auntie Liz, always wins no matter what other book it's up against! I love reading with my boy. Then I sing a couple songs and always end with the same one (the 'Discovery' I love the world song). He does super well with naps, and sleeps at night from about 7 pm to 6:30 am. give or take half an hour.
http://youtu.be/NqV3clvlC4Q

Well, lots more I could say. But this is looong. And since the only people reading it are my mom and Jen, I'll wrap it up : ) I guess I could link it to FB, but there are so many people I don't really care to have reading my blog, I don't bother. Besides, at the end of the day, this is for me to remember my baby, and give me something to do while he's at Kindergarten to keep me from drinking myself silly and making a fool of myself when I pick him up at the end of the day. Future Lorene, you're welcome.


Oh my gosh, where did my baby go? Look at the size of this chunky monkey.

37 and a half weeks

Dear Isaac,

On Friday, you were exactly 37 and a half weeks old. It's hard to believe you've now been outside my belly longer than you were inside. Some days, it seems like only a few months ago that you were born. But you are only one week away from being NINE whole months old - wow!

I love thinking about my pregnancy, realizing it was you in there the whole time, my baby. When I felt feet pushing against my belly, those were your feet. When I felt movement, that was you. When I talked to you, it was your ears that were listening.

I love you Isaac, and am so glad I get to live my life as your mommy.

You sure have been growing lately, learning new things and mastering tricks you learned before. You've become quite the little roller, turning this way and that to grab a toy that catches your eye. This morning as I ate breakfast, I looked into the living room and you had rolled at least two times completely over and were on the very edge of the carpet by the fireplace. It wasn't that long ago where you couldn't roll at all and now you're a regular rolling wonder.

You are also a sitting boy since I last wrote on the blog. When we were at Purden, your cousin Wyatt loaned you a toy, "the casino," that encourages sitting up to play with toys in front of you. That seemed to be all the incentive you needed and you figured out how to keep your body from tumbling. We are so proud of you! Since coming back home, you've gone from not really wanting to be put down in a seated position to not minding it at all. And while you still sometimes lose your balance, most of the time you have no problem staying upright. Momma still puts a pillow behind your back though because when you fall backwards it hurts!

We finally bought you a highchair, your bumbo was getting to be dangerous as you could lean over and almost tip it. You've only been in the highchair a few days, but already you are getting better at your pincer grasp. Having finger foods right in front of you is making it easier to practice picking up. So far, your finger foods have been cheerios, brocolli, cucumber and this morning I gave you a few blueberries to practice. You actually managed to pick up a blueberry using your index finger and thumb, but then couldn't quite get it into your mouth. I know you'll get it soon though, I can tell you're almost there.

You absolutely LOVE watching kids. We've got a parade of children that bike back and forth in front of our home, and you enjoy sitting on the picnic blanket watching them cycle and play with each other. In fact, you love the outdoors in general. When we go to the front door and open it, you squeal with delight and wave your arms around. That's one of your happy signs : )

We go to the park quite often and you smile in the baby swing, enjoying the wind in your hair. We also sit at the splash park and watch the kids there play. There is so much to look at! On Friday I think it was, Daddy came with us to the splash park and he actually took you towards the water. You weren't squealing, but you weren't crying either. You were studying I think, as you often do with something new. I don't think you'll be the kind of boy to jump headfirst into things. I think you'll want to figure it out first, to study and understand it before trying. And those are good things to do, it means you'll think through actions before doing something you might regret later.

Well, I'm actually supposed to be grocery shopping right now. You're down for your morning nap and I've got lots of baby food to make (just picked up meat from The Town Butcher yesterday). I sure love you little one, and am so glad I'm your momma. I can't believe you've been in this world as long as you have, and can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

Well that's new

Apparently you have stranger anxiety now. Huh. That's definitely new.

Last week your friend Ty and his mom Kylie came over and you seemed just fine with them. That was Wednesday. Then Friday we went to a barbecue at Ryan and Jenn's. You were fine while I was holding you, but our friend Kate took you so I could eat a burger (Daddy left for his Ultimate game) and you cried and cried and cried. You absolutely. Were. NOT. Happy.

I thought maybe you were just tired, but once I took you back again, you were fine.

We had Auntie Becky over for dinner Sunday night and you were definitely concerned. You cried some, even though she didn't try to hold you, and took lots of time just looking at her and studying. Hmmm, I think you were wondering just who this lady was and what she was up to in your house!

Last night you re-met Grandma and Grandpa. You've actually been around them lots, they were even the first people you met after you were born. But they haven't been around in five weeks and for you, that's like a really super duper long time!

You cried when Grandma tried holding you, and again looked quite concerned with these strangers in our house. So much for Mommy and Daddy's plan to go out to a movie tonight and leave you with Grandma. Oh well, you'll get used to them once they're back for awhile in the Fall. In the meantime, I think you'd prefer to just stick close to your favourite two people.

Oh, as a sidenote, other new things that are super fun:
Last night we walked to Dairy Queen with Grandma and Grandpa. You saw a firetruck and got really excited. It was so cute!

You also love watching the neighbourhood kids on their bikes. We went out a couple days ago and just sat on the lawn watching the kids bike back and forth. You smiled almost every time they passed by, and watched intently as they rode. Then this morning you were thrilled at all the action out our window as the maintenance people mowed our lawn.

You are so much fun Isaac. We love watching as you discover new things, explore, learn and grow in your own time.

Today you jumped for joy in your jolly jumper. You were definitely a jolly little man jumping in it, what a joy to watch. Oh we love you little one. So very very much.

Seven and a half months

Dear Isaac,

Time sure flies; already you are seven and a half months old! It's only 138 days until your first birthday!!

The last couple days you've started doing something new. You wiggle your head and shoulders back and forth when you're excited. Sometimes it seems your whole body is wiggling when you are really happy! It's so darn cute, we love it and try to do stuff to make you wiggle now, like disappear and reappear, or make funny loud noises or sing loud songs. You like all those things.

You have also taken to getting super excited if one of us is carrying you up or down the stairs and the other follows closely behind. When we're going up the stairs you get super excited right at the top if the other parent is following. It's just too much fun and we can't resist doing it over and over.

You are also just generally becoming a more happy baby overall. Most mornings you can play by yourself for a little while when I go into the kitchen to have my breakfast and prepare yours. Then you squeal with delight when I come back to the living room to see how you're doing. I think you get excited when you realize that we come when you call too, and we hope we're building trust with you through these moments.

You go nuts over your rattles now; shaking them, moving them from hand to hand, picking up one then dropping it and picking up another, studying them, and you smile when we hand them to you.

Today I put you in your excersaucer and you managed to turn yourself all the way around. That's the first time I've seen you do that. Yay! You still don't like to play in it for very long, but even for a few minutes it's nice so I can get a meal prepared, make a cup of coffee or tidy the kitchen a little. Then we play together again once you squawk to get out.

On Tuesday you developed a squeak in your voice. We're not sure if it's related to an ear infection you were just diagnosed with at your last pediatrician appointment, or if it's something else. But your voice just got a lot higher and, while cute, also sounds very pathetic when you cry. But definitely cute.

You have started sleeping on your side. Often when I put you down you eagerly turn to the side right away, even before I have your sleep sack zipped up. It makes it nice when we have to go in and comfort you, because now we can just rub your back. You seem to like it, and I find it easier than holding your arms from flailing and making quiet 'shh' sounds. You're definitely sleeping better overall, though you still have your moments. A couple weeks ago you started sleeping until about 4 or 5 in the morning before waking to nurse. Then you go back to sleep until 6 or 7, one time even 7:30!!! I felt like a new woman that day.

I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but even at this it's nice to be able to write down what I can so I can look back and remember my ever-changing, always-amazing seven and a half month old son. You get cuter every day, your smile just melts my heart and I absolutely adore you.

Much love,
your mommy

Growing big and growing up

My dear son,

Today I was so proud to be your momma.

You've been a little guy ever since you were born. It's something our midwives were concerned about, so before our time with them was up at six weeks after you were born, they referred us to a pediatrician in town.

You love Dr. Ebesh. You smile and coo at him, even when you're practically naked and he's prodding and poking to see how you're growing. We've visited him about once a month since February. Our first visit to him, your weight was up and he didn't think we needed to worry anymore. But after a subsequent appointment to see if you had a lazy eye, Dr. Ebesh noticed your weight was not what it should be.

You've gained little by little, and ounce by ounce we celebrate. You've also had a few times where you've lost weight, and a couple months where you basically didn't gain anything.

So we keep going back to Dr. Ebesh. Finally he decided to get some tests done. You had to get blood taken and your momma, a weakling when it comes to physical stuff, balled her eyes out in the waiting room. I couldn't bear the thought of my little one with a tourniquet around his arm and a needle stealing his blood.

Tests came back showing you had low B12 and higher acid levels in your urine. B12 deficiency is usually a sign that mom is low, but I got a blood test and it turns out I'm fine. Dr. Ebesh wasn't sure how to interpret the results and sent us to BC Children's Hospital.

We had our appointment this last Monday. You were a charmer to all the nurses there, and the doctor told us she read your charts before meeting you and thought you would look a lot different than the healthy-looking, happy baby boy before her. But she didn't really have answers either, so it was back for another round of urine and blood tests.

So this morning we went to get your blood taken again. We tried to go yesterday, but the regular lab in town said they didn't do those test. Then the lab at the hospital said they weren't sure what one of the tests even was, and then they told us you had to fast for six hours before taking your blood. I tried nursing you at about 1 a.m. so that you wouldn't wake up hungry. Unfortunately you nursed and then promptly spit most of it back up again, so you woke up hungry around 4 a.m. and wouldn't fall back asleep. You finally slept in my arms for about 30 minutes, but that was it.

The clinic opened at 7:30 and we were there, nervous and tired and upset that we were back again. Plus, they had told us they'd have to take a lot of blood this time for the number of tests that were ordered, and we had been told they might have to draw it from a few different parts of your body.

Luckily, they only had to give you one poke in your arm. You laid on the bed while Daddy held you, a nurse held your arm steady and another took I think four vials of blood from you. After the initial pain of the needle going in, you were so good. You just cried a little, then we distracted you with Sophie and then a little rattle with a bell. You shook that rattle, smiling and even giggling at us, shaking your head back and forth in happiness until it was all done.

Here you were, a baby who was very hungry, definitely sleep-deprived, thrown out of his routine, in a strange place with strange people getting blood taken, and you smiled. Wow, what an amazing little guy. I love you so much, and was just so proud of you today and how you took it all in stride. To top it off, you've had good naps today and needed hardly any encouragement from us to sleep. Good job baby, you might not be big, but you sure are growing up!

Albatross

This is a big year for me. New mommy, 10 years of marriage, turning 30, unemployed. All sorts of new things for me. And some days I feel like I'm not sure I can handle it. Especially when my baby is sick with something or other (we think teething, but maybe a cold or ear infection though the doctor at the clinic said it wasn't). He cried so much today, and every nap was a struggle. I think I shhhd part of my brains out today, I definitely feel stupider than when I woke up this morning. And he was up so many times last night, he's obviously not feeling well. Ugghhh, sick babies suck.

But I'm optimistic still, because whatever he's going through, it will get better. And even though I'm almost 30 now, I don't feel any older. Some days I still feel like I'm 16, other days I feel like I'm 50. But I don't think it's in relation to my actual age, more like what I'm going through that day and how I react to the situations I find myself in. And 10 year of marriage is awesome, I'm so proud of us.

There's just one thing really dragging me down now, and if I could just get that done I know the rest of my life is going to look brighter. I hate that whatever I want to do - whether it's crafts for my walls, projects for my baby, home reno's, watching a movie, reading a book, and yes, even typing on this blog – I always feel guilty and like I should be writing POC instead. It is an albatross around my neck, one that I cannot set aside while I do other things. But when I sit down to write, I am paralyzed, I cannot think of words to string into sentences into paragraphs into stories. And so I sit and stare at the computer. And meanwhile I avoid doing other things because I feel like I should be writing, always I should be writing. So I don't do crafts, I don't scrapbook, I don't socialize with other moms, I don't watch movies or read books or clean the house. I mean, I guess I do all these things a little bit here and there, but not nearly the life I want to be living right now. I don't jump into anything else for fear that I should be writing. And I am so ashamed of myself, ashamed for not being able to finish what I started. It was a big risk to do POC, and it feels like it will never get done. I hate our meetings at the office, it's hard to see everyone and think of what they're thinking about me. Even if they're not really thinking what I think they're thinking.

Whew. That all kind of came out of me like bad take-out. Therapeutic indeed.

Happiness is . . .

# 993: Angel food cake, strawberries, ice cream and a good visit with an old friend.
#992: Craft ideas I actually think I could do
#991: A perfect cup of coffee in my wonderful new KHC mug
#990: A sleeping baby after a long early morning

Late night ritual

Have I mentioned how much I love nursing at night? Still it is one of my favourite daily rituals with my little one. I mourn the days these will end even if the trade-off will be a full night's rest.

I love cuddling your heavy, sleeping body as I carry you back to your room. I love the sweet and steady rhythm of your breathing as you snuggle into my body, fitting into crevices and crook of arm with the ease of a baby totally secure.

I love when I put you down on the change table, you stretch out and open your eyes. And always you smile. You go from warm comforting arms to the top of the crinkly change table and yet you smile. You're glad to see I'm here and you love our change table times, all wiggles and smiles and grabbing at your legs and feet.

I love when I pick you up from the change table, ready to place you back in your crib. You smile that big sunshine-face smile, the one that is irresistible and dimpled and you just want to keep in your heart forever smile. That one. It's a most sought-after smile and it's given freely from my babe. You cuddle back into my body, this time with your head propped up, alert and looking to make sure your room is still the same. You whip your head to look at your mobile, then back over my shoulder at your walls, your closet, your door.

I love when I put you down into your crib. You look up at me with the smile of a trusting baby. Your belly full, diaper clean, cuddles cuddled and love lavished. I tell you, as I always do when I leave the room, 'Goodnight Isaac'. You happily kick your feet as I leave.

I peek in. After you kick for a few minutes, in the middle of the night falling back asleep is not some mantra of 'shhing' and mobile music and hand-on-the-chest as it often is in the evenings or naptime. No – wooing sleep is as easy as a few minutes of kicking followed by playing with your hands as you stare off into space. Then you simply close your eyes and go back to sleep. Love it. So peaceful for you and us.

I love falling back into bed, satisfied that I've done a good job with my baby. There are many moments during the day when I feel like I could or should do more as a mom. But late night feeds? These times will never be one of those moments.


As in all things baby, change happens more than staying-the-same does. A couple days after I wrote this post but before I published it, Isaac started staying awake to the end of his nursing in the night. Different but still good, Isaac watches me as we walk down the hall to his room. And how can I not love that?

Crazy kid

Dear Isaac,

You are turning into such a crazy kid now - and we love it!!
You learned maybe yesterday or the day before how to stick your tongue out a little and blow spit everywhere. It makes quite the sound and you love to hear yourself make that sound over and over again when you're happy. You get a kick out of Daddy and I mimicking you, making loud 'pphhhbbbffshhh' type sounds as we sprinkle spit into the air. It's not pretty, but it sure is fun.

You have taken quite a shine to Daddy lately. He can barely be in the room with you and me when you're nursing because you get quite distracted by him. You almost always smile real big as soon as you see Daddy walk in the room and he can make you laugh like nobody's business. I make funny noises and you just look at me like I'm a lunatic. Daddy makes funny sounds and you are squealing with laughter before you know it.

Tonight I just peeked in on you to see if you'd fallen asleep yet. You are laying on your side again. You are doing that more and more, sometimes rolling from your back to your side to play with your hands or the little stuffed cow in your crib before rolling back again to sleep. But a few times we've caught you sleeping that way and I think it's adorable. It's nice that you can get a little more comfy the way you want to as you fall asleep instead of how we have placed you in your crib.

In fact, you're becoming quite the little athlete in your crib. We always place you with your head under your mobile. Quite often when we check back in on you, you've turned 90 degrees or even 180 degrees so your head is where your feet were! The weirdest thing is Daddy and I never see you move, we just see you in a new position. Very tricksy!

You're growing up before our eyes, and we are loving every moment of it. We can see you changing, becoming so much more aware and interested in the world around you. This week you also discovered our shiny gold-coloured front door handle and lock, and are constantly looking at it when we're near the entrance. You reach out for a lot more, including hot beverages in our hands which meant Mommy saying goodbye to our peaceful mornings of me holding you in my arms, reading you the paper while I had my cup of coffee. But that's OK, I'm working on getting you to enjoy your jumperoo more so I can have time for a cup in the morning to get me energized to play with you all day!

Sleep is still an issue with you, but we're working on it. You wake up a couple times a night to nurse still, and as previously mentioned you don't always want to fall back asleep again after the early morning feed (which you wake up for anywhere from 4 to 5:30 a.m.). You always have a morning nap and an afternoon nap and quite often an early evening nap too. When you have good, long naps you are such a happy baby, so alert and ready to play when you wake up. It's worth protecting and fighting for your naps!

Well baby, I know you're going to be up again in a couple hours so I have to get to bed now too.

Love so much,
Momma

Road Trip Day #3 contd.

After disc golf, we headed into Banff for dinner. I stayed in the car to nurse Isaac and everyone else had appies and waited for me. We brought Isaac's bumbo into the Chili's and some dinner for him too.




While we waited for our orders, Justin fed Isaac dinner. Everyone enjoyed watching him eat! I love how much joy our son brings others, and it is so special to share him with family. Bryan loves Isaac and was happy to watch him and wanted to hold his hand and interpret his squawks for us. Bryan is turning into such a big kid, it's hard to believe he's almost 7. He was fun to hang out with, he has interesting things to say and he is so full of life!

Dinner was amazing. Not only was the food delicious and the company so nice, the atmosphere and service was great too. And Isaac did SO well for his first time in a restaurant! He pretty much spent all of dinner just looking around at us and the restaurant busy-ness and entertained himself with a washcloth and his hands. Yay! That made the idea of going out to dinner a lot more realistic after such a great experience. And this is after a long day of traveling, being in the stroller, not getting regular eating or napping intervals and just generally being out of sorts.

After a super delicious dessert (we shared a piece of cheesecake, Dave and Cheryl shared a lava chocolate yummy looking dessert and Bryan had ice cream) we headed over to the campground.


Uh, Mom, who is this crazy dude??!!










Aww, just kidding Mom, my Uncle David is so cool, I love hanging out with him!










Dave and Cheryl had camped in Banff the night before and already had a site at Tunnel Mountain. They set up the tent with Justin and we got settled in pretty quickly. Isaac had a tough time falling asleep - it was 9:30 p.m. and it was still very light out. And you can't exactly block out light inside a tent! But he finally fell asleep after I think 40 minutes. We relaxed at the picnic table for a little bit, eating junk food and visiting. I really enjoyed that part of the evening. When Isaac woke up crying again everyone turned in for the night.

Disc golf

We found that road trips involve diaper changes in all sorts of unusual places. Here, Justin changes Isaac in the back seat of our car while it rains outside. And we're such good parents, we give Isaac a sock to play with while he gets changed.

Sleep

Gee whiz Isaac, I don't know why you're so grumpy. After all, I LOVED getting up at 5:45 a.m. this morning to nurse you, only a few hours after we were last up together.

I also LOVED that, unlike even just a few days ago, when you would wake up for your early morning feed and go back to sleep for another 45 or so minutes, you now think that it's time to get up for the day.


And I LOVED that you have become a total clingster, not wanting to get out of my arms in the a.m. much less play on your beloved playmat for TWO SECONDS.

What's even greater is when I know I need coffee to sustain me. And just when it's hot and ready and smells so good, you get even more grumpy and I can't put you down to take a sip. And, oh yeah, you reach out for everything now so I can't hold you in my arms while I enjoy my coffee. So it sits steaming on the counter, seducing me with its smell but not its taste. When I finally steal a few sips, you're ready to go back to bed.


But I really love my new mug, thanks to the mad money I got from my parents for Christmas. This mug makes mornings better.

And of course, I LOVE that now I've had coffee and am definitely WIDE AWAKE AND CAN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP!!! And while you are super tired, you're also super grumpy and you do NOT want to go back to sleep either. so I totally LOVE being in such a mood - a picture of motherly morning perfection - that I can quietly and gently 'shhh' you back to sleep. Or not.

Gotta love it.


This is me showing that, clearly, I am A-OK. See? No crazy at all!!! Promise!!!!

Road Trip Day #3

We had a nice visit with Auntie Barbara in the morning, and Isaac even went down fairly easily for a morning nap there. Hurray! I was so thankful to be able to see Auntie Barbara and introduce her and Isaac to each other.

After all, without her we might never have had our son. While we were traveling through Alberta for POC interviews, we stayed with Auntie Barbara and Uncle Brian a couple nights. I remember one day sitting in her sewing room visiting, and she brought up the idea of children with me. Are you still not planning to have any, she asked me. No, I told her, I just didn't see it in my future. But then she told me something that got the gears turning. She told me if I decided to be a mom, I didn't have to be "that kind of mom." The kind that drives me bonkers, the kind that I felt bad for when I met or heard about. She told me I could be whatever kind of mom I wanted to be. Hmmm. Hadn't thought about that before. You mean I could have kids and still be me? I could be a mom and still be Lorene? Thanks Auntie Barbara, for setting me on a long journey that took me to November 15, 2010 at 11:45 p.m., the moment my life changed forever.





Anyway, off we headed to Canmore after a quick stop at Safeway for teething pain relief for poor Isaac. Met up with Dave, Cheryl and Bryan in Canmore at a trailhead that turned out to be the wrong starting point. After some iphone assistance we were back in the cars and at the right trail head for a very nice walk between the meandering river and the ridiculously beautiful houses of this breath-taking town.



We had a super nice walk to an old mine shaft entrance and back. Had a good visit, decent weather with only a smattering of rain. Stopped to pick up water at Sobeys (oops, forgot about that before we left Calgary!), then up to the Nordic trails for a game of disc golf. It was closed for a tournament so we went to the town's other disc golf course. Yes, they have two disc golf courses there! We don't even have one in the entire Fraser Valley, go figure. The guys played disc golf while our poor babe who had been put through the ringer the last few days had a bit of a nap in the car. Cheryl watched Bryan while he played on the playground. When the guys got rained out we headed into Banff for dinner.



I'm tired, to be contd...