Growing big and growing up

My dear son,

Today I was so proud to be your momma.

You've been a little guy ever since you were born. It's something our midwives were concerned about, so before our time with them was up at six weeks after you were born, they referred us to a pediatrician in town.

You love Dr. Ebesh. You smile and coo at him, even when you're practically naked and he's prodding and poking to see how you're growing. We've visited him about once a month since February. Our first visit to him, your weight was up and he didn't think we needed to worry anymore. But after a subsequent appointment to see if you had a lazy eye, Dr. Ebesh noticed your weight was not what it should be.

You've gained little by little, and ounce by ounce we celebrate. You've also had a few times where you've lost weight, and a couple months where you basically didn't gain anything.

So we keep going back to Dr. Ebesh. Finally he decided to get some tests done. You had to get blood taken and your momma, a weakling when it comes to physical stuff, balled her eyes out in the waiting room. I couldn't bear the thought of my little one with a tourniquet around his arm and a needle stealing his blood.

Tests came back showing you had low B12 and higher acid levels in your urine. B12 deficiency is usually a sign that mom is low, but I got a blood test and it turns out I'm fine. Dr. Ebesh wasn't sure how to interpret the results and sent us to BC Children's Hospital.

We had our appointment this last Monday. You were a charmer to all the nurses there, and the doctor told us she read your charts before meeting you and thought you would look a lot different than the healthy-looking, happy baby boy before her. But she didn't really have answers either, so it was back for another round of urine and blood tests.

So this morning we went to get your blood taken again. We tried to go yesterday, but the regular lab in town said they didn't do those test. Then the lab at the hospital said they weren't sure what one of the tests even was, and then they told us you had to fast for six hours before taking your blood. I tried nursing you at about 1 a.m. so that you wouldn't wake up hungry. Unfortunately you nursed and then promptly spit most of it back up again, so you woke up hungry around 4 a.m. and wouldn't fall back asleep. You finally slept in my arms for about 30 minutes, but that was it.

The clinic opened at 7:30 and we were there, nervous and tired and upset that we were back again. Plus, they had told us they'd have to take a lot of blood this time for the number of tests that were ordered, and we had been told they might have to draw it from a few different parts of your body.

Luckily, they only had to give you one poke in your arm. You laid on the bed while Daddy held you, a nurse held your arm steady and another took I think four vials of blood from you. After the initial pain of the needle going in, you were so good. You just cried a little, then we distracted you with Sophie and then a little rattle with a bell. You shook that rattle, smiling and even giggling at us, shaking your head back and forth in happiness until it was all done.

Here you were, a baby who was very hungry, definitely sleep-deprived, thrown out of his routine, in a strange place with strange people getting blood taken, and you smiled. Wow, what an amazing little guy. I love you so much, and was just so proud of you today and how you took it all in stride. To top it off, you've had good naps today and needed hardly any encouragement from us to sleep. Good job baby, you might not be big, but you sure are growing up!