Apparently you have stranger anxiety now. Huh. That's definitely new.
Last week your friend Ty and his mom Kylie came over and you seemed just fine with them. That was Wednesday. Then Friday we went to a barbecue at Ryan and Jenn's. You were fine while I was holding you, but our friend Kate took you so I could eat a burger (Daddy left for his Ultimate game) and you cried and cried and cried. You absolutely. Were. NOT. Happy.
I thought maybe you were just tired, but once I took you back again, you were fine.
We had Auntie Becky over for dinner Sunday night and you were definitely concerned. You cried some, even though she didn't try to hold you, and took lots of time just looking at her and studying. Hmmm, I think you were wondering just who this lady was and what she was up to in your house!
Last night you re-met Grandma and Grandpa. You've actually been around them lots, they were even the first people you met after you were born. But they haven't been around in five weeks and for you, that's like a really super duper long time!
You cried when Grandma tried holding you, and again looked quite concerned with these strangers in our house. So much for Mommy and Daddy's plan to go out to a movie tonight and leave you with Grandma. Oh well, you'll get used to them once they're back for awhile in the Fall. In the meantime, I think you'd prefer to just stick close to your favourite two people.
Oh, as a sidenote, other new things that are super fun:
Last night we walked to Dairy Queen with Grandma and Grandpa. You saw a firetruck and got really excited. It was so cute!
You also love watching the neighbourhood kids on their bikes. We went out a couple days ago and just sat on the lawn watching the kids bike back and forth. You smiled almost every time they passed by, and watched intently as they rode. Then this morning you were thrilled at all the action out our window as the maintenance people mowed our lawn.
You are so much fun Isaac. We love watching as you discover new things, explore, learn and grow in your own time.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Seven and a half months
Dear Isaac,
Time sure flies; already you are seven and a half months old! It's only 138 days until your first birthday!!
The last couple days you've started doing something new. You wiggle your head and shoulders back and forth when you're excited. Sometimes it seems your whole body is wiggling when you are really happy! It's so darn cute, we love it and try to do stuff to make you wiggle now, like disappear and reappear, or make funny loud noises or sing loud songs. You like all those things.
You have also taken to getting super excited if one of us is carrying you up or down the stairs and the other follows closely behind. When we're going up the stairs you get super excited right at the top if the other parent is following. It's just too much fun and we can't resist doing it over and over.
You are also just generally becoming a more happy baby overall. Most mornings you can play by yourself for a little while when I go into the kitchen to have my breakfast and prepare yours. Then you squeal with delight when I come back to the living room to see how you're doing. I think you get excited when you realize that we come when you call too, and we hope we're building trust with you through these moments.
You go nuts over your rattles now; shaking them, moving them from hand to hand, picking up one then dropping it and picking up another, studying them, and you smile when we hand them to you.
Today I put you in your excersaucer and you managed to turn yourself all the way around. That's the first time I've seen you do that. Yay! You still don't like to play in it for very long, but even for a few minutes it's nice so I can get a meal prepared, make a cup of coffee or tidy the kitchen a little. Then we play together again once you squawk to get out.
On Tuesday you developed a squeak in your voice. We're not sure if it's related to an ear infection you were just diagnosed with at your last pediatrician appointment, or if it's something else. But your voice just got a lot higher and, while cute, also sounds very pathetic when you cry. But definitely cute.
You have started sleeping on your side. Often when I put you down you eagerly turn to the side right away, even before I have your sleep sack zipped up. It makes it nice when we have to go in and comfort you, because now we can just rub your back. You seem to like it, and I find it easier than holding your arms from flailing and making quiet 'shh' sounds. You're definitely sleeping better overall, though you still have your moments. A couple weeks ago you started sleeping until about 4 or 5 in the morning before waking to nurse. Then you go back to sleep until 6 or 7, one time even 7:30!!! I felt like a new woman that day.
I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but even at this it's nice to be able to write down what I can so I can look back and remember my ever-changing, always-amazing seven and a half month old son. You get cuter every day, your smile just melts my heart and I absolutely adore you.
Much love,
your mommy
Time sure flies; already you are seven and a half months old! It's only 138 days until your first birthday!!
The last couple days you've started doing something new. You wiggle your head and shoulders back and forth when you're excited. Sometimes it seems your whole body is wiggling when you are really happy! It's so darn cute, we love it and try to do stuff to make you wiggle now, like disappear and reappear, or make funny loud noises or sing loud songs. You like all those things.
You have also taken to getting super excited if one of us is carrying you up or down the stairs and the other follows closely behind. When we're going up the stairs you get super excited right at the top if the other parent is following. It's just too much fun and we can't resist doing it over and over.
You are also just generally becoming a more happy baby overall. Most mornings you can play by yourself for a little while when I go into the kitchen to have my breakfast and prepare yours. Then you squeal with delight when I come back to the living room to see how you're doing. I think you get excited when you realize that we come when you call too, and we hope we're building trust with you through these moments.
You go nuts over your rattles now; shaking them, moving them from hand to hand, picking up one then dropping it and picking up another, studying them, and you smile when we hand them to you.
Today I put you in your excersaucer and you managed to turn yourself all the way around. That's the first time I've seen you do that. Yay! You still don't like to play in it for very long, but even for a few minutes it's nice so I can get a meal prepared, make a cup of coffee or tidy the kitchen a little. Then we play together again once you squawk to get out.
On Tuesday you developed a squeak in your voice. We're not sure if it's related to an ear infection you were just diagnosed with at your last pediatrician appointment, or if it's something else. But your voice just got a lot higher and, while cute, also sounds very pathetic when you cry. But definitely cute.
You have started sleeping on your side. Often when I put you down you eagerly turn to the side right away, even before I have your sleep sack zipped up. It makes it nice when we have to go in and comfort you, because now we can just rub your back. You seem to like it, and I find it easier than holding your arms from flailing and making quiet 'shh' sounds. You're definitely sleeping better overall, though you still have your moments. A couple weeks ago you started sleeping until about 4 or 5 in the morning before waking to nurse. Then you go back to sleep until 6 or 7, one time even 7:30!!! I felt like a new woman that day.
I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but even at this it's nice to be able to write down what I can so I can look back and remember my ever-changing, always-amazing seven and a half month old son. You get cuter every day, your smile just melts my heart and I absolutely adore you.
Much love,
your mommy
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Growing big and growing up
My dear son,
Today I was so proud to be your momma.
You've been a little guy ever since you were born. It's something our midwives were concerned about, so before our time with them was up at six weeks after you were born, they referred us to a pediatrician in town.
You love Dr. Ebesh. You smile and coo at him, even when you're practically naked and he's prodding and poking to see how you're growing. We've visited him about once a month since February. Our first visit to him, your weight was up and he didn't think we needed to worry anymore. But after a subsequent appointment to see if you had a lazy eye, Dr. Ebesh noticed your weight was not what it should be.
You've gained little by little, and ounce by ounce we celebrate. You've also had a few times where you've lost weight, and a couple months where you basically didn't gain anything.
So we keep going back to Dr. Ebesh. Finally he decided to get some tests done. You had to get blood taken and your momma, a weakling when it comes to physical stuff, balled her eyes out in the waiting room. I couldn't bear the thought of my little one with a tourniquet around his arm and a needle stealing his blood.
Tests came back showing you had low B12 and higher acid levels in your urine. B12 deficiency is usually a sign that mom is low, but I got a blood test and it turns out I'm fine. Dr. Ebesh wasn't sure how to interpret the results and sent us to BC Children's Hospital.
We had our appointment this last Monday. You were a charmer to all the nurses there, and the doctor told us she read your charts before meeting you and thought you would look a lot different than the healthy-looking, happy baby boy before her. But she didn't really have answers either, so it was back for another round of urine and blood tests.
So this morning we went to get your blood taken again. We tried to go yesterday, but the regular lab in town said they didn't do those test. Then the lab at the hospital said they weren't sure what one of the tests even was, and then they told us you had to fast for six hours before taking your blood. I tried nursing you at about 1 a.m. so that you wouldn't wake up hungry. Unfortunately you nursed and then promptly spit most of it back up again, so you woke up hungry around 4 a.m. and wouldn't fall back asleep. You finally slept in my arms for about 30 minutes, but that was it.
The clinic opened at 7:30 and we were there, nervous and tired and upset that we were back again. Plus, they had told us they'd have to take a lot of blood this time for the number of tests that were ordered, and we had been told they might have to draw it from a few different parts of your body.
Luckily, they only had to give you one poke in your arm. You laid on the bed while Daddy held you, a nurse held your arm steady and another took I think four vials of blood from you. After the initial pain of the needle going in, you were so good. You just cried a little, then we distracted you with Sophie and then a little rattle with a bell. You shook that rattle, smiling and even giggling at us, shaking your head back and forth in happiness until it was all done.
Here you were, a baby who was very hungry, definitely sleep-deprived, thrown out of his routine, in a strange place with strange people getting blood taken, and you smiled. Wow, what an amazing little guy. I love you so much, and was just so proud of you today and how you took it all in stride. To top it off, you've had good naps today and needed hardly any encouragement from us to sleep. Good job baby, you might not be big, but you sure are growing up!
Today I was so proud to be your momma.
You've been a little guy ever since you were born. It's something our midwives were concerned about, so before our time with them was up at six weeks after you were born, they referred us to a pediatrician in town.
You love Dr. Ebesh. You smile and coo at him, even when you're practically naked and he's prodding and poking to see how you're growing. We've visited him about once a month since February. Our first visit to him, your weight was up and he didn't think we needed to worry anymore. But after a subsequent appointment to see if you had a lazy eye, Dr. Ebesh noticed your weight was not what it should be.
You've gained little by little, and ounce by ounce we celebrate. You've also had a few times where you've lost weight, and a couple months where you basically didn't gain anything.
So we keep going back to Dr. Ebesh. Finally he decided to get some tests done. You had to get blood taken and your momma, a weakling when it comes to physical stuff, balled her eyes out in the waiting room. I couldn't bear the thought of my little one with a tourniquet around his arm and a needle stealing his blood.
Tests came back showing you had low B12 and higher acid levels in your urine. B12 deficiency is usually a sign that mom is low, but I got a blood test and it turns out I'm fine. Dr. Ebesh wasn't sure how to interpret the results and sent us to BC Children's Hospital.
We had our appointment this last Monday. You were a charmer to all the nurses there, and the doctor told us she read your charts before meeting you and thought you would look a lot different than the healthy-looking, happy baby boy before her. But she didn't really have answers either, so it was back for another round of urine and blood tests.
So this morning we went to get your blood taken again. We tried to go yesterday, but the regular lab in town said they didn't do those test. Then the lab at the hospital said they weren't sure what one of the tests even was, and then they told us you had to fast for six hours before taking your blood. I tried nursing you at about 1 a.m. so that you wouldn't wake up hungry. Unfortunately you nursed and then promptly spit most of it back up again, so you woke up hungry around 4 a.m. and wouldn't fall back asleep. You finally slept in my arms for about 30 minutes, but that was it.
The clinic opened at 7:30 and we were there, nervous and tired and upset that we were back again. Plus, they had told us they'd have to take a lot of blood this time for the number of tests that were ordered, and we had been told they might have to draw it from a few different parts of your body.
Luckily, they only had to give you one poke in your arm. You laid on the bed while Daddy held you, a nurse held your arm steady and another took I think four vials of blood from you. After the initial pain of the needle going in, you were so good. You just cried a little, then we distracted you with Sophie and then a little rattle with a bell. You shook that rattle, smiling and even giggling at us, shaking your head back and forth in happiness until it was all done.
Here you were, a baby who was very hungry, definitely sleep-deprived, thrown out of his routine, in a strange place with strange people getting blood taken, and you smiled. Wow, what an amazing little guy. I love you so much, and was just so proud of you today and how you took it all in stride. To top it off, you've had good naps today and needed hardly any encouragement from us to sleep. Good job baby, you might not be big, but you sure are growing up!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Albatross
This is a big year for me. New mommy, 10 years of marriage, turning 30, unemployed. All sorts of new things for me. And some days I feel like I'm not sure I can handle it. Especially when my baby is sick with something or other (we think teething, but maybe a cold or ear infection though the doctor at the clinic said it wasn't). He cried so much today, and every nap was a struggle. I think I shhhd part of my brains out today, I definitely feel stupider than when I woke up this morning. And he was up so many times last night, he's obviously not feeling well. Ugghhh, sick babies suck.
But I'm optimistic still, because whatever he's going through, it will get better. And even though I'm almost 30 now, I don't feel any older. Some days I still feel like I'm 16, other days I feel like I'm 50. But I don't think it's in relation to my actual age, more like what I'm going through that day and how I react to the situations I find myself in. And 10 year of marriage is awesome, I'm so proud of us.
There's just one thing really dragging me down now, and if I could just get that done I know the rest of my life is going to look brighter. I hate that whatever I want to do - whether it's crafts for my walls, projects for my baby, home reno's, watching a movie, reading a book, and yes, even typing on this blog – I always feel guilty and like I should be writing POC instead. It is an albatross around my neck, one that I cannot set aside while I do other things. But when I sit down to write, I am paralyzed, I cannot think of words to string into sentences into paragraphs into stories. And so I sit and stare at the computer. And meanwhile I avoid doing other things because I feel like I should be writing, always I should be writing. So I don't do crafts, I don't scrapbook, I don't socialize with other moms, I don't watch movies or read books or clean the house. I mean, I guess I do all these things a little bit here and there, but not nearly the life I want to be living right now. I don't jump into anything else for fear that I should be writing. And I am so ashamed of myself, ashamed for not being able to finish what I started. It was a big risk to do POC, and it feels like it will never get done. I hate our meetings at the office, it's hard to see everyone and think of what they're thinking about me. Even if they're not really thinking what I think they're thinking.
Whew. That all kind of came out of me like bad take-out. Therapeutic indeed.
But I'm optimistic still, because whatever he's going through, it will get better. And even though I'm almost 30 now, I don't feel any older. Some days I still feel like I'm 16, other days I feel like I'm 50. But I don't think it's in relation to my actual age, more like what I'm going through that day and how I react to the situations I find myself in. And 10 year of marriage is awesome, I'm so proud of us.
There's just one thing really dragging me down now, and if I could just get that done I know the rest of my life is going to look brighter. I hate that whatever I want to do - whether it's crafts for my walls, projects for my baby, home reno's, watching a movie, reading a book, and yes, even typing on this blog – I always feel guilty and like I should be writing POC instead. It is an albatross around my neck, one that I cannot set aside while I do other things. But when I sit down to write, I am paralyzed, I cannot think of words to string into sentences into paragraphs into stories. And so I sit and stare at the computer. And meanwhile I avoid doing other things because I feel like I should be writing, always I should be writing. So I don't do crafts, I don't scrapbook, I don't socialize with other moms, I don't watch movies or read books or clean the house. I mean, I guess I do all these things a little bit here and there, but not nearly the life I want to be living right now. I don't jump into anything else for fear that I should be writing. And I am so ashamed of myself, ashamed for not being able to finish what I started. It was a big risk to do POC, and it feels like it will never get done. I hate our meetings at the office, it's hard to see everyone and think of what they're thinking about me. Even if they're not really thinking what I think they're thinking.
Whew. That all kind of came out of me like bad take-out. Therapeutic indeed.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Happiness is . . .
# 993: Angel food cake, strawberries, ice cream and a good visit with an old friend.
#992: Craft ideas I actually think I could do
#991: A perfect cup of coffee in my wonderful new KHC mug
#990: A sleeping baby after a long early morning
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Late night ritual
Have I mentioned how much I love nursing at night? Still it is one of my favourite daily rituals with my little one. I mourn the days these will end even if the trade-off will be a full night's rest.
I love cuddling your heavy, sleeping body as I carry you back to your room. I love the sweet and steady rhythm of your breathing as you snuggle into my body, fitting into crevices and crook of arm with the ease of a baby totally secure.
I love when I put you down on the change table, you stretch out and open your eyes. And always you smile. You go from warm comforting arms to the top of the crinkly change table and yet you smile. You're glad to see I'm here and you love our change table times, all wiggles and smiles and grabbing at your legs and feet.
I love when I pick you up from the change table, ready to place you back in your crib. You smile that big sunshine-face smile, the one that is irresistible and dimpled and you just want to keep in your heart forever smile. That one. It's a most sought-after smile and it's given freely from my babe. You cuddle back into my body, this time with your head propped up, alert and looking to make sure your room is still the same. You whip your head to look at your mobile, then back over my shoulder at your walls, your closet, your door.
I love when I put you down into your crib. You look up at me with the smile of a trusting baby. Your belly full, diaper clean, cuddles cuddled and love lavished. I tell you, as I always do when I leave the room, 'Goodnight Isaac'. You happily kick your feet as I leave.
I peek in. After you kick for a few minutes, in the middle of the night falling back asleep is not some mantra of 'shhing' and mobile music and hand-on-the-chest as it often is in the evenings or naptime. No – wooing sleep is as easy as a few minutes of kicking followed by playing with your hands as you stare off into space. Then you simply close your eyes and go back to sleep. Love it. So peaceful for you and us.
I love falling back into bed, satisfied that I've done a good job with my baby. There are many moments during the day when I feel like I could or should do more as a mom. But late night feeds? These times will never be one of those moments.
As in all things baby, change happens more than staying-the-same does. A couple days after I wrote this post but before I published it, Isaac started staying awake to the end of his nursing in the night. Different but still good, Isaac watches me as we walk down the hall to his room. And how can I not love that?
I love cuddling your heavy, sleeping body as I carry you back to your room. I love the sweet and steady rhythm of your breathing as you snuggle into my body, fitting into crevices and crook of arm with the ease of a baby totally secure.
I love when I put you down on the change table, you stretch out and open your eyes. And always you smile. You go from warm comforting arms to the top of the crinkly change table and yet you smile. You're glad to see I'm here and you love our change table times, all wiggles and smiles and grabbing at your legs and feet.
I love when I pick you up from the change table, ready to place you back in your crib. You smile that big sunshine-face smile, the one that is irresistible and dimpled and you just want to keep in your heart forever smile. That one. It's a most sought-after smile and it's given freely from my babe. You cuddle back into my body, this time with your head propped up, alert and looking to make sure your room is still the same. You whip your head to look at your mobile, then back over my shoulder at your walls, your closet, your door.
I love when I put you down into your crib. You look up at me with the smile of a trusting baby. Your belly full, diaper clean, cuddles cuddled and love lavished. I tell you, as I always do when I leave the room, 'Goodnight Isaac'. You happily kick your feet as I leave.
I peek in. After you kick for a few minutes, in the middle of the night falling back asleep is not some mantra of 'shhing' and mobile music and hand-on-the-chest as it often is in the evenings or naptime. No – wooing sleep is as easy as a few minutes of kicking followed by playing with your hands as you stare off into space. Then you simply close your eyes and go back to sleep. Love it. So peaceful for you and us.
I love falling back into bed, satisfied that I've done a good job with my baby. There are many moments during the day when I feel like I could or should do more as a mom. But late night feeds? These times will never be one of those moments.
As in all things baby, change happens more than staying-the-same does. A couple days after I wrote this post but before I published it, Isaac started staying awake to the end of his nursing in the night. Different but still good, Isaac watches me as we walk down the hall to his room. And how can I not love that?
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