Isaac's birth story part one

I realize with the imminent birth of baby #2, I never did finish writing Isaac's birth story. Here's part one that I wrote awhile back but never had the guts to hit publish.

I dreamed of writing this story for a long time. I pictured in my head how it would go. Perfectly formed sentences about my birth: the excitement, the build-up, the pain intensifying and culminating in labour. The absolute victory that I birthed my child, the feeling of elation that would wash over me, knowing I was stonger than I ever imagined.

Of course, life never turns out like dreams.

It's been almost two years now, and I still have to swallow a lump in my throat when I think of how Isaac's birth actually happened. I tear up thinking of it. The raw emotions I felt in the minutes and days and months afterwards and still there to this day, though they're not nearly as raw now as they once were.

Isaac was born on Monday, November 15 at 11:46 p.m. Such a simple sentence for such a complex, involved event.

It began on November 12.

I woke up at 5:30 a.m. with a warm gushing feeling between my legs. I felt the sheet - it was wet. I rushed to the bathroom and as I sat on the toilet I saw blood on my underwear and more blood in the toilet. My heart raced and I tried to tell myself not to panic.

Justin had been working late and was sleeping on the couch in my office so as not to accidentally wake me. He'd done that a few times lately because he was concerned about the amount of sleep I was getting. Baby was pushing on my bladder and my body was restless. That combined with my racing mind kept me awake often.

I try to remember now what I did - if I woke Justin first or looked at the 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' book first. I remember going in and waking Justin up and telling him I was really scared and that I just bled and whether that was normal or not. And I remember sitting on the top of our stairs reading the parts of the book to do with bleeding.

We concluded there were a lot of reasons why I could be bleeding and most of them weren't serious, some of the reasons even normal. I didn't want to be the kind of pregnant woman who freaked out and, never having been through pregnancy before, thought maybe this might be normal.

I hoped anyway.

We went to HFL as per usual in the morning. We had a meeting first thing, then Justin headed off to a meeting with a logo design client. We had decided that I would phone my midwive's office and just let them know what had happened and see what they had to say.

I phoned the pager and waited. Less than 10 minutes later, Cheryl called. She was reassuring but said she wanted to have a look, and could I come in to the Abbotsford Hospital right away?

I made the appointment for later in the morning as Justin was still with the client. Then as the time to leave got closer, I started to panic. I tried calling and he didn't answer. I finally asked Ryan to text Justin, who rushed back to drive me in.

Cheryl had a look and couldn't see anything that looked out of place. Baby's vitals were "text-book," and since I was feeling fine, she sent us home.

We had company over that evening - my old work pals from The Observer and their spouses. Justin and I had been making a valiant effort to get together with as many people as we could before our baby's due date as we knew afterwards we would be immersed in our little one.

It was I think around 10:30 pm, maybe earlier or later, and all of a sudden I felt a warm rush. I quickly sent our guests packing and as soon as they left, told Justin it had happened again. When I went up to the bathroom, much more blood than in the morning came out. While I was in the bathroom – panicked, scared and in a mess – Justin phoned our midwife. She told us to come to the hospital straight away, and that we most likely wouldn't be leaving the hospital without a baby in our arms.

Of course, we weren't ready for the hospital yet. We threw a bunch of things we could think of into a bag that I had barely started to pack, literally tossed the carseat into the back and headed into Abbotsford close to midnight.

Our room for five nights

I got checked out by a doctor on call, who couldn't figure out where the bleeding was coming from either. Finally, I think around 2 a.m., we were settled into one of the maternity ward rooms and went to sleep.

Monitoring baby, something that happened often during the three days before he was born